Right Place - Right Time

Somehow, Paula and I manage to be at key world sports events even though we are not avid fans. Two years ago, we were in Madrid when Spain won the World Cup Soccer. This time, We're in Mumbai when India wins the big semi-final match of the World Cup Cricket over Pakistan. Lynne, Prabhaker and his nephew Pramod took us out to a restaurant full of local folks intently following the match on TV. Pramod continued to order Kingfishers and Indian dishes while we all slowly stuffed ourselves - thinking each dish was the last.

What a good game. I did a little homework to add to my dramatic enjoyment. Pakistan cricket has been rocked by match fixing allegations, with three top players handed lengthy bans by an International Cricket Council anti-corruption tribunal. This week, Pakistan Interior Minister Rehman Malik - who like Joe Biden seems to have foot-in-mouth disease - apparently made remarks saying, "This time I am watching it very closely." Responding in a TV program in Kolkata, Imran Khan - former captain of Pakistan cricket team said he would keep a more vigilant eye on Rehman Malik than on the Pakistan cricket team. "If (Pakistan) cricket is to be kept away from corruption, then backing of criminal activities must be avoided at any level." This was a direct reference to corruption charges against Malik last year.

In addition, this is the first game in Indian soil between these two nations since the attacks here at the Taj Mahal Hotel perpetrated by Pakistani nationals.

The match was watched by Pakistan's Prime Minister Yousuf Raza Gilani on an invitation from his Indian counterpart Manmohan Singh. This also was closely watched since there was some doubt in the Indian press that he would accept. There were frequent shots of the two political leaders sitting together throughout the match.

A Journey Best Measured in Friends

We've been on the road for just a week but thousands upon thousands of miles. But what a joy to see Lynne and Prabhaker - friends from home - on Wednesday morning in the lobby of the Taj Mahal Hotel in Mumbai. We'll travel the remainder of our trip with them throughout this teeming sub continent.

Gateway to India

We now sit in the famous Taj Mahal Palace Hotel in downtown Mumbai. This is the same place that was bombed by Pakistani terrorists on November 26th, 2008. It's also the place where President Barack Obama booked the entire hotel in November 2010. I can only imagine the disruption to business in this area. Traffic is like blood cells bumping and jostling each other in the capillaries and arteries that infuse this city with life.

This is not my style. What a hulking pile of pompous preponderance this place is. Fat Balkan boors in flip flops and fanny-packs bump up against gilt Sikhs. you must contact 12 people to get the least thing accomplished and each patiently waits way too long after the transaction is concluded in case more money should accidentally fall off of you. And I'm generally a big tipper if it's deserved.

On the other hand, it has some fine architecture inside!

Indian Antics

We barely slipped under the cable of an ancient wrecking truck in time to be spared the traffic back-up that would inevitably hold up a line of cars three miles long for three hours. But we did stop to watch as dhoti-clad men attempted over-and-over to rescue a cement mixer that had tumbled down the mountain. Apparently, the trailer carrying the cement mixer dropped a wheel off the narrow pavement and it then dragged the whole trailer off the road. It looks like no one was hurt.

We watched helplessly for a half-hour. A young fellow kept planting himself directly under the delicately suspended cement-mixer where no one could see him. Finally, I had to ask Aravind (our driver) to leave. I could not stand the thought of seeing the enthusiastic fellow crushed right before our eyes.

Primitive Industry

Everywhere we look industriousness abounds. India is a land of frantic patience. One of the most depressing examples of primitive industry is that of the Coir Factories in downtown Alleppey. Coir is coconut fiber and we Americans recognize it most familiarly as the doormats on which we wipe our feet.

Here is a factory of the most appalling conditions in which women in saris and men in lungis work on ancient wooden and rust looms in dim light filtered through a strata of coconut fiber dust. Dye vats boil in the background and piles of man made coir rope coil like vipers in every spare inch of ground.

We gingerly inch our way deep into the fabric of India with Mrs. Maria Zacharia who is trying to bring attention to the destruction of ancient architecture in the inner city part of Alleppey with its snaking canals and piles of trash and industrious lungi-wrapped Hindus. Mrs' Zacharia tells us that this coir factory is completely employee-owned which explains its inability to pull itself out of the dark ages. "The employees know their rights better than their duties!" chirps Mrs. Zacharia. She should know. Her husband is in the business as well. He sells natural coconut fiber rope to the French for use in oyster growing beds. The highly biodegradable coir is an ideal growing medium for oysters - far better than any synthetic rope.

We see boats carrying loads of cement and sand - obviously hand-loaded - plying the back waters of Kerala. Ginger root dries in dusty warehouses. All work is extremely under-capitalized and therefore extremely labor-intensive. Salaam - our driver - defends this back-breaking situation. "For every machine you employ, you put 100 people out of work!" I doubt it though since many of the equipment is severely worn and many sit on the side of the road with turbaned heads deep inside their mechanics attempting to get another cough of life from the metal.

Kerala Homestays

This might be the way to go next time... India Homestays! We had lunch at two of them. We were fed delicious home-cooked meals (done by the cook, not the matron of the house). Dad came home and spend several hours with us glowering under bushy eyebrows until we warm him up. Then politics, business, family, future, wishes, dreams failures and successes until we are both exhausted. We stayed at two:

• Tharavadu
• Mundackal Plantation

As this is Communist country down here in Kerala, these families had a very different perspective from the folks that we hang with - the taxi drivers, maids, cooks, laundry ladies and doormen. And if you know me at all, you know that I discovered - by hook or by crook - how many of them are voting on May 30th. India is much more politically savvy than most Americans. And India is painfully aware that the Eastern Indian state of West Bengal has not only been dominated by the Communist party for over 30 years but also has a very poor literacy rate and is one of the poorest states in all of India. By contrast, Kerala has a literacy rate of 100%.

While we're on the subject, 645 million people live under the poverty level in India compared to 410 million in the 26 poorest nations of Africa (this according to the MPI).

Way Too Personal!

Lynne Pendse encouraged us to do the Ayurveda Spa treatment at the Marari Beach Resort. They fully massage you pretty much everywhere. Up as far as possible, down as far as possible, and then possible. Don't touch my junk! sez I. They even wash you afterward, dry you off and then dress you. Signs everywhere say "don't give things to the local children! They will invade your privacy and the privacy of our other guests!" Actually, we see fairly little of what I'd call poverty as in Mexico City or Mumbai poverty.

Primitive Insight

Kumarakom house boating on the river in the Kerala Backwaters. Everywhere, we see people washing clothes and selves in the water right beside us. Many of them chatting on cell phones at the same time.

Christians and Lord Krishna

Christian traces everywhere. We thought we were coming to Hindu territory. But no. Fatima and the holy Virgin Mary take equal footing beside Krishna, Vishnu and Shiva. What a equalitarian and communist blend. Speaking of which, the Communists are in charge here in Kerala - for now. But they are not a majority and must build a coalition. Since we spend more time with the taxi drivers and hotel servants, it seems that the Communists are in favor. Income tax starts at 50 thousand rupees and most people make less than that. The government gives away money - but in the form of make-work jobs. Lots of old women work on the side of the road cleaning where a machine would have done the job. "But that would put a lot of people out of work!" says our taxi driver. I can't argue.

Cardamom Tea and Mountain Air

What a pretty place in the Windermere Estates. This is almost like a monastery run by Dr. Simon John. We were told to pass on greetings from a one Jose G. Mundackal who fed us a wonderful traditional lunch at his rubber plantation. Windermere grows tea, coffee and cardamom. It's run by 20 college-age boys with quick smiles and an eagerness to teach AND learn. Why boys? "because - sir - we only have small facilities and not enough for the womans."

Five hours of wild and bumpy jeep ride starting at 5:00 AM. We toured a great wildlife preserve supporting over 300 wild elephants (we saw them), bison (we saw them as well) and tigers (no sightings). Troupes of monkeys of multiple breeds (Bonnet Macaque and the Hanuman Monkey) peered down at us from the treetops. Baby monkeys the size of my two palms crept curiously closer but were deftly disciplined by mothers with a tight grip on their tails. We also saw the Chambal Malayannan (Giant Grizzled Squirrel) about 2 feet long. A pair of Paradise Fly Catchers flew on the opposite side of the river.

Cardamom grows in the full shade. As a result, we saw many giant trees of all varieties including the Strangler Vine.

Kerala Rebound

What a great visit to Cochin in the Kerala region on the Southwest coast of the Indian sub-continent. We stayed at the luxuriously renovated Brunton Boat Yard Hotel in the Old Fort Cochin area. This little peninsula was occupied by different people throughout the centuries - each of whom left a signature on the area. There's the oldest Jewish Synagog in the British empire here. There's also famous and picturesque Chinese Fishing Nets still in use. We wandered the back alleys and got lost. The Indian people are excellent, friendly and helpful. But I am afraid that frequently guidance is filled with confidence yet incorrect. So we got directions from multiple people all of whom were contradictory. Funny thing - this is the same problem we get in the industry from programmers raised in India - confidently stated wrong answers.
Nevertheless, what a beautiful and fun evening.

Act II

Rosie says that India will have a hard act to follow. Many of our fellow travelers on the flight to Mumbai smelled of urine. The Mumbai International Airport smelled of urine. When I stopped by the men's room, a mosquito rose up out of the morass in the bottom of the urinal. I lost track of him. I'm sure I was bitten. Thank God Paula bucked my willful attitude and made me take the malaria medicine for the past week. Now I'm glad Rosie and Aaron persuaded us to take all those shots. Our hotel lobby room smelled of urine and so did the room. Paula asked me this morning, "Do you think Indian men stumble into the corner in the night and just piss on the rug?"

The Sultan's Turret

We spent the day in Dubai, U.A.E.

The first thing that comes to mind is Shanghai X 10. Sorry Shanghai. The air was a balmy 70 degrees. The city was beautiful. Tonight we caught them cleaning the marble sidewalks with a Zamboni across the street from our hotel. Car tires squeak when making turns in the street. Everything smells like fresh Mock Orange Blossoms, Magnolia and Hyacinth. The water - in great abundance - is flung around this desert oasis like proof of opulence and is crystal clear - almost inviting you to drink deeply from every fountain.



While enjoying a late afternoon cup of traditional Lebanese coffee with cardamom and a mint infused lemonade, Paula and I discreetly watched a women in a full burkah try to drink a large, whipped-cream laden iced cappuccino. Another woman behind us listened thoughtfully between puffs on her bubbling hookah while a man intently leaned toward her and expounded on deeply philosophical riffs about the eventual downfall of the American real estate market due to failed morality while he simultaneously attempted to convince her that her company finances were safe with him.

Speaking of water, we watched a fountain that put the Bellagio to shame. 100 foot jets of water frolicked to Michael Jackson's "Thriller" across a half-mile-wide, man-made pond.

Supper was a vertigo-laden experience in the world's tallest building at the At.Mosphere Lounge on the 123rd floor of the Burj Khalifa - completed in 2010. Our server was a Chinese guy named Miker who hails from Shanghai! You can have a conversation with anyone here by just asking where they are from. Two women at the reception were from Kenya and Uganda. A woman who helped us find the elevator was from Paris. No one seems to be from Dubai.

Blah, blah, blah. I'll stop now. But no.

This ten-foot shark was behind a Guinness Book of World Records - world's largest single piece of plexiglass. And it was inside the Dubai Mall!

Let me tell you about Emirates...

We were encouraged to fly to India via Emirates Airlines from a good friend Gautam Cheveru who does the New York - Mumbai trip frequently. "The price is not much different, you have to fly via Dubai and they understand service", sez he. He was not kidding. I now know why U.S. airlines - and perhaps European airlines as well - are doomed to failure. Luxurious treatment. The stewardesses were uniformly dressed young, attractive women - as Aaron says, "with a hint of a veil". America is so damned politically correct that our stewards and stewardesses are primarily old cranks with a chip on their shoulder. And they charge you to go to the bathroom, for God's sake.

We flew economy class. We ate multiple meals all served with a menu - all halal - but with as many complimentary beverages as you could wish for. We opted for the French Chardonnay. Each seat had a large video with games, TV shows, hundreds of movies and in-flight, video views out the front of and underneath the jet. Best of all, there were LED stars all across the ceiling all night long... and at dawn, the cabin lights slowly came up with a pale orange glow.

The Mighty hunter of the East has truly caught the Sultan's turret in a noose of light!

Super Moon

Biggest moon in 20 years. And we get to see it over Manhattan. Lentil soup for supper in a little local bistro called the Ben Ash Delicatessen on the corner of 55th street and 7th Avenue. Then chocolate cake and gimlets in honor of Rosie.

Chatted briefly with Rosie who's watching the same moon over Hotlanta. "W.H.O. and C.D.C. - what more could you ask for?" sez I. "Google?" sez she.

Flying out of the country tomorrow morning. Good bye, America! We love you! Wish I could live forever.

On the Road Again

We made it to the Big Apple! Our hotel is across the street from Radio City Music Hall. I've been teasing friends and family unmercifully about my new idol, Charlie Sheen when - lo and behold - he shows up across the street in foot high letters! He's already sold out two nights here. As Meredith says (paraphrasing), "To hell with this PhD dissertation, I'm gonna go crazy and start telling everyone on national television."

India Reading List

I'm trying to narrow down my packing list for India. One item still remains elusive. What to bring to read? I will probably have NO time for reading but I don't want to be caught with nothing should my travel partners be ill or call it an early evening. A little research under my belt, here's my current list of possibilities. I want to narrow it down to only one since I can certainly replenish when I get there. Please feel free to criticize, critique, append or laud the list.

• Life of Pi - Yann Martel (I've already read it - and highly recommend it).
• White Tiger - Aravind Adiga Editorial Reviews
• India Calling - Anand Giridharadas Reviewed by The Wall Street Journal
• The Wreck - Rabindranath Tagore A little on the author, a Bengali poet
• Kim - Rudyard Kipling Jawaharlal Nehru described this as his favourite book.
• A Passage to India - E. M. Forster TIME 100 Best English-language Novels